Filk: Alternate Lyrics to “The Scotsman”

Well a scotsman clad in kilt left the bar one fine dark night,
and one could tell by how he walked that he’d drank a fair good mite.
He fumbled ’round until he could no longer stand so well
and he stumbled off into the grass to rest there for a spell.

Chorus: Ring ding didde diddle i-de-oh, ring di diddley i-oh
He stumbled off into the grass to rest there for a spell.

Later on, two young and pretty girls came strolling by
and the one said to the other with a sparkle in her eye,
“See yon sleeping Scotsman so strong and handsome built,
I wonder if it’s true what they don’t wear beneath their kilts!”

Chorus: Ring ding diddle diddle i-de-oh, ring di diddley i-oh
“I wonder if it’s true what they don’t wear beneath their kilts!”

They crept up on the sleeping Scotsman quiet as can be
and tried to lift his kilt about an inch (or two or three).
The Scotsman woke, bolted upright from his bed of leaves and dirt
and flung his back against a tree there growing from the turf.

Chorus: Ring ding diddle diddle i-de-oh, ring di diddley i-oh
and flung his back against a tree there growing from the turf.

He sputtered for a moment then he said “What have you done?
If you were me and I were you this would be just as wrong
If I, perchance, happed on a woman, drunk and sleeping fast
and lifted up that stranger’s skirt, I’d land in jail right fast.”

Chorus: Ring ding diddle diddle i-de-oh, ring di diddley i-oh
“and lifted up that stranger’s skirt, I’d land in jail fast.”

Those young and silly women hadn’t thought of what this meant
They stood there speechless as he said “It’s a matter of consent.”
And in small and startled voices they then both apologized,
for ignorance and double standards are seldom ever wise.

Chorus: Ring ding diddle diddle i-de-oh, ring di diddley i-oh
for ignorance and double standards are seldom ever wise.

Advertisements

About Shawna Jacques

All posts subject to change without notice.

Posted on 2012/01/12, in Filk and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: