Author Archives: Shawna Jacques

No Hurry

No Hurry
Shawna Jacques

ttto “No Hurry” by Michelle “Vixy” Dockrey

The alarm goes off at 7, and I make a grumbling sound
I get dressed up just enough to take my morning meeting rounds,
While the brewing of the kettle’s taking much too long for tea,
I count the days that I’ve worked from home, thanks to this quarantine.

No hurry, no hurry now
Watch TV for an hour or two
No hurry, no hurry now
You fill your time when it’s all you can do
No hurry, no hurry now
From Zoom to Zoom, what’s another Monday?
No hurry, no hurry now
Whenever it is, it’s far and away

I read on social media about some people at the store
How the lineup to get in is spaced six feet apart or more,
My planned year has some travel and I’m hoping it still will,
But it’s hard to social distance when you’re flying ‘cross the world.

No hurry, no hurry now
Watch TV for an hour or three
No hurry, no hurry now
You fill your time when it’s all that you need
No hurry, no hurry now
From Zoom to Zoom, what’s another Thursday?
No hurry, no hurry now
Whenever it is, it’s far and away

We put masks by the roadside so the neighbors can take some,
Gather bread flour and active yeast and bake a hecking ton,
Though most of us must stay at home, till the plague’s gone down again
Our essential workers have to go, so we’re doing what we can.

No hurry, no hurry now
Watch TV for an hour or four
No hurry, no hurry now
You fill your time when you really want more,
No hurry, no hurry now
From Zoom to Zoom, what’s another Wednesday?
No hurry, no hurry now
Whenever it is, it’s far and away

Doctors say it’s best this way, to the best of what they know
And I wonder now when it will be that we can leave our homes?
I want to go see all my friends, and not just their online face
But we can’t kick COVID in the butt if we move at such a pace

No hurry, no hurry now
Watch TV for an hour or five
No hurry, no hurry now
You fill your time so you know you’re alive
No hurry, no hurry now
From Zoom to Zoom, what even is today?
No hurry, no hurry now
Whenever it is, it’s far and away

QA Engineer Shanty

QA Engineer Shanty

ttto “Livejournal Shanty” by Brooke Abbey

filk by Shawna Jacques


And it’s way hey, me lads, crash the test app again,   G – C G
There might be a new fix from developers’ hands   C G D7 –
Yes it’s way hey, me boys, try a repro or two,   G – C G
and eight more new bugs found leaves us feeling blue.   C G D7 G

It’s a hard life a-workin’ the quality trail   Gm – Dm Gm
I’m testing all day and all night without fail   Gm – Cm Gm
If I didn’t, I know that we would be a wreck as    Gm – Cm Gm
We’d never discover the bugs ’till they frack us.  Cm Gm D7 Gm

And it’s way hey, me lads, crash the test app again,   G – C G
There might be a new fix from developers’ hands   C G D7 –
Yes it’s way hey, me boys, try a repro or two,   G – C G
and thirteen new bugs found leaves us feeling blue.   C G D7 G


And it’s upload the icons, change a naming scheme,    Gm – Dm Gm
Answer dev’s questions, HAUL AWAY at our screens,   Gm – Cm Gm
Write a legal disclaimer for your install page   Gm – Cm Gm
And revise the notations of bug fixes made.   Cm Gm D7 Gm

And it’s way hey, me lads, crash the test app again,   G – C G
There might be a new fix from developers’ hands   C G D7 –
Yes it’s way hey, me boys, try a repro or two,   G – C G
and twenty new bugs found leaves us feeling blue.   C G D7 G

And let’s bitch ’cause they changed the UI without telling     Gm – Dm Gm
The red line’s outdated, there’s so many misspellings   Gm – Cm Gm
I don’t ask for much, but I’d like to be told   Gm – Cm Gm
when the outsourced team’s outsourced team’s    Cm Gm
outsourced team’s outsourced team’s    Cm Gm
outsourced team’s outsourced team’s    Cm Gm
“updating” the code.    D7 Gm 


And it’s way hey, me lads, crash the test app again,   G – C G
There might be a new fix from developers’ hands   C G D7 –
Yes it’s way hey, me boys, try a repro or two,   G – C G
and forty new bugs found leaves us feeling blue.   C G D7 G.

I’m not scared that I will be blamed by my masters    Gm – Dm Gm
since they hired me I have prevented disasters   Gm – Cm Gm
but I’m still going to file all my emails away   Gm – Cm Gm
Another bug will come up just like today.   Cm Gm D7 Gm

And it’s way hey, me lads, crash the test app again,   G – C G
There might be a new fix from developers’ hands   C G D7 –
Yes it’s way hey, me boys, try a repro or two,   G – C G
and ten more new bugs found leaves us feeling blue.   C G D7 G
Yeah, one hundred more bugs found leaves me feeling blue.   C G D7 G

ONE ‘SPLAIN MORE

ONE ‘SPLAIN MORE

a filk/parody by Shawna Jacques of “One Day More” from Les Miserables

FURIOUS FEMME:
One ‘splain more
Another ‘splain, another “well, actually”
This never-ending road to patr’archy
These men think they deserve my time
Will surely come explain my crimes
One ‘splain more…

EXHAUSTED ENBY and ANGRY ACE:
I did not know until today
That I could live without words you farted.

FURIOUS FEMME
One ‘splain more

EXHAUSTED ENBY and ANGRY ACE:
Tomorrow I’ll throw your words away
And yet with this, my rage has started

MEDIOCRE MANSPLAINER 1:
One more ‘splain all on my own

EXHAUSTED ENBY and ANGRY ACE:
Our pronouns are they and them!

MEDIOCRE MANSPLAINER 1:
One more splain with her not hearing

EXHAUSTED ENBY and ANGRY ACE:
Our last warning goes to you

MEDIOCRE MANSPLAINER 1:
I want a wife, but I’m friend-zoned

EXHAUSTED ENBY and ANGRY ACE:
And I swear my anger’s true

MEDICORE MANSPLAINER 1::
And she’ll never see me there

MEDIOCRE MANSPLAINER 2:
One more ‘splain “just to inform”

EXHAUSTED ENBY :
Will he follow if we go?

MEDIOCRE MANSPLAINER 2:
I’ll speak with my right to freedom

ANGRY ACE:
Shall we join our siblings there?

MEDIOCRE MANSPLAINER 2:
Without thanks, resentment forms

EXHAUSTED ENBY:
We won’t be safe unless we dare.

MEDIOCRE MANSPLAINER 1 & 2:
Don’t you know your place with me?

ALL:
The time is now, the day is here

FURIOUS FEMME:
One ‘splain more

DANGEROUS DEVILS ADVOCATE:
One ‘splain more to resolution,
We’ll show you and we will judge!
We’ll be ready for SJWs
We will push them in the mud!

FURIOUS FEMME:
One ‘splain more!

TEDIOUS TROLLS 1 AND 2
Watch ’em run amuck,
Laugh at ’em as they fall,
Never give a fuck
Make it a free for all,
Here a little “RIP”
There a little “wat”
Most of them are snowflakes
So they won’t hold up!

ASTUTE ALLIES (2 Groups)
1: One ‘splain to a new beginning
2: Raise the flag of banning high!
1: Every ban will make us sing
2: Every ban will make us sing
1: There’s a new world for the winning
2: There’s a new world to be won

ALL:
Do you hear the people sing?

EXHAUSTED ENBY:
My place is here, I fight with you!

FURIOUS FEMME:
One ‘splain more!

[OVERLAP STARTS]

MEDIOCRE MANSPLAINER 2:
One more ‘splain all on my own

EXHAUSTED ENBY and ANGRY ACE:
I did not know until today

DANGEROUS DEVILS ADVOCATE:
We will smear these people’s heroes
We will follow where they go
We will post all of their secrets,
They’ll know all the things we know.

EXHAUSTED ENBY and ANGRY ACE:
That I could live without words you farted.

FURIOUS FEMME:
One ‘splain more!”

EXHAUSTED ENBY and ANGRY ACE:
Tomorrow I’ll throw your words away

MEDIOCRE MANSPLAINER 1:
I want a wife, but I’m friend-zoned

EXHAUSTED ENBY and ANGRY ACE:
And yet with this, my rage has started

DANGEROUS DEVILS ADVOCATE:
One ‘splain more to resolution,
We’ll show you and we will judge!
We’ll be ready for SJWs

TEDIOUS TROLLS 1 AND 2
Watch ’em run amuck,
Laugh at ’em as they fall,
Never give a fuck
Make it a free for all!

FURIOUS FEMME:
Tomorrow isn’t far away,
Tomorrow is the judgement day

[OVERLAP ENDS]

ALL
Tomorrow we’ll discover
What our social justice has in store!
One more man…
One more ‘splain…
ONE ‘SPLAIN MORE!

written February 4th, 2019

Hurt and Harm

Hurt and harm are different
though they often arrive together.
The first is immediate, temporary;
trees losing branches still grow,
even though it is painful.
The other a changed world,
whether by quake or erosion.
I cannot wipe it away,
only adapt to new landscapes,
choosing to climb, not die.

11-1-2018

Pick A Key

“Pick a Key”
ttto “Let It Be”
by Shawna Jacques

01/28/2018 in the Smoked Salmon of Conflikt 11

When I find myself inside the circle
And the filk frog comes to me
Start to sing, but I don’t have a key
And in my hour of darkness
songbook sitting here in front of me
got the words, and I must pick a key
pick a key, pick a key
pick a key, pick a key
Whisper words, but I should pick a key

And when the patient listening filkers
sitting in the room agree
We’ll all sing it with you, pick a key
for though it’s been misstarted
there is still a chance for harmony
we’ll all sing it with you, pick a key
pick a key, pick a key
pick a key, pick a key
we’ll all sing it with you
pick a key, pick a key
pick a key, pick a key
so you’ll all sing it with me, pick a key

and when the night is passing
there is still a chance to sing with me
sing on until tomorrow, pick a key
I stay up with the sound of music
and the filk frog comes to me
I’ll sing words and finally pick a key
pick a key, pick a key
pick a key, yeah pick a key
so you’ll all sing it with me, pick a key
pick a key, pick a key
pick a key, yeah pick a key
so you’ll all sing it with me, pick a key
pick a key, pick a key
Ah pick a key, yeah pick a key
Wrote the words, and now I’ll pick a key

Filk: Rose Marshall’s Ride

Rose Marshall’s Ride

 

ttto of “Black Davie’s Ride”, by Cynthia McQuillin

filk written by Shawna Jacques

 

Rose Marshall’s riding on down the ghost road
No moon of silver nor sun of gold
Wandering all through the Midnight so cold,
Who would you be with if you’d grown old?

Highway girl, highway girl, what do you dream?
Are you a travelling to see a queen?
Are you a hitcher, waiting on roadsides,
Or do you dream of a Sparrow Hill ride?

 

Your hair was tied back and lemon juice gold
Your dress was green, and your eyes were so bold.
He thought to have you, but the price would be your soul,
What kind of engine takes that kind of coal?

Highway girl, highway girl, what do you dream?
Are you a travelling to see a queen?
Are you a hitcher, waiting on roadsides,
Or do you dream of a Sparrow Hill ride?

 

When nights were warmer and your soul was young,
There were so many things you would not have done,
But though you dance til the last song is sung
He paid the crossroads, and now your time has come

Highway girl, highway girl, what do you dream?
Are you a travelling to see a queen?
Are you a hitcher, waiting on roadsides,
Or do you dream of a Sparrow Hill ride?



He stole a friend of yours, and he commands,
That you risk everything you have to make your stand
But he could never steal your power from your hand
And now there’s Bethany with her checkered flag,

Highway girl, highway girl, what do you dream?
Are you a travelling to see a queen?
Are you a hitcher, waiting on roadsides,
Or do you dream of a Sparrow Hill ride?

 


Highway girl, highway girl, what do you dream?
Are you a travelling to see the queen?
Are you a hitcher, waiting on roadsides,
Or do you dream of a Sparrow Hill ride?

Or do you dream of a Sparrow Hill ride?

Nation Called Panem

by Shawna Jacques
written about Hunger Games (by Suzanne Collins),
ttto “City of Marrow” by S.J. Tucker,

which is written for a book called Orphan’s Tales: In the Cities of Coin and Spice,
by Catherynne M. Valente

Lyrics updated 03-06-2016

If you are not familiar with this book, it is a beautiful pair of books of stories within stories within stories. The story the original song is about is about a city that has fallen to ruin due to a monster comprised mostly of teeth and hunger. The city, which used to mint coins from metal, now mints coins from the bones of dead children, and they make other children work the machines. A boy and a girl stick in that wretched workforce decide to take matters into their own hands, and the boy literally feeds his own arm into the machine so they have coins for their escape. Then I read The Hunger Games, and this practically wrote itself.

(oooo intro)

You’d never know that Panem was
a different place, up until the war
her city’s heart lost its way
so long, so long
gone is the country, the people, the land
now hunger is all that’s in store
above and below she has rotted away,
so long, so long

the districts had called
for Capitol fall,
but now no more than twelve you will find
broken shattered walls
no one there at all
gone to ashes and wasteland and lost time

bakers’ sons and coal miners’ daughters
must take their own lives to hand
I have been through the games of hunger,
and I have come out again.

(so) Fear for the lives they’re wasting
their Reaper may come for you
there’s only one victor, so try to win
they’re counting on you to pull through
or the Hunger Games may take them, too.

(ohhh, oh, I volunteer
ohhh, oh, I volunteer)

Truly, we’ve lost our great nation
that hunger has all but devoured
I look to my mother but I’m all alone
no one looks after the kids now

(ohhh, oh, I volunteer
ohhh, oh, I volunteer)

There can be no hope for our nation
while President Snow is in power
The odds aren’t in favor
Of me or of you

there’s only the Games now,
there’s only the blame now…

Fear for the lives they’re wasting
their Reaper may come for you
there’s only one victor, so try to win
they’re counting on you to pull through, oh…

Fear for the lives they’re wasting
their Reaper may come for you
there’s only one victor, so try to win
they’re counting on you to pull through
or the Hunger Games may take them, too.

bakers’ sons and coal miners’ daughters
must take their own lives to hand
fear now the Games of Hunger
you may not come out again.
I have been through the Games of Hunger
and I have come out again.

Fear for the lives they’re wasting
their Reaper may come for you
there’s only one victor, so try to win
they’re counting on you to pull through
the Hunger Games must someday end, too.

(mockingjay whistle tune)

Poem of the Week #4: Every Day You Play (Pablo Neruda)

Crafty Odysseus

Tis the week of Valentine’s Day. I should respond to it with the traditional dose of bile, but my heart isn’t in it. Almost everything about Valentine’s day is shite: the pressure applied to couples, the loneliness and inadequacy foisted on to the singles, the rampant commercialisation, and above all the rose tinted and sickly portrait of love that the day has come to promote and represent. Still, an entire day (and a saint) dedicated to erotic love can’t be all bad.

Poem of the week is therefore ‘Every Day You Play’ by that Nobel winning Chilean love guru Pablo Neruda, notable for including possibly the sexiest final line of a poem ever written…

Every Day You Play (Pablo Neruda)

Every day you play with the light of the universe.
Subtle visitor, you arrive in the flower and the water.
You are more than this white head that I hold…

View original post 303 more words

Intrepid

Intrepid

The black dog hunts me as I go
Catch me it will if I’m too slow
For if I drop my guard my foe
Will leap to kill with what I know

Disempowered I run, I flee
Monster must not catch up with me
I cannot face the facts and see
I am my own worst enemy

I’ve words to say what must be said
Now from my heart and from my head
For I’ll not go to where I’m led
But where the angels fear to tread

Black dog may hunt but truth remains
It’s I that cause myself my pains
The crazy thoughts that bring no gains
Are my own doing; homemade chains

I hold myself in darkest hell
Chased by the shadows fierce and fell
The spectre’s me, now I can tell
I have the means to make me well.

I’ve words to say what must be said
Now from my heart and from my head
For I’ll not go to where I’m led
But where the angels fear to tread

The tower falls, opens to sky
I spread my wings, know how to fly
Stars blaze above, my freedom’s nigh
With tears of joy I start to cry.

No more entrapped in fear, alone
The way to will myself I’ve shown
A path I should have always known
Through travel far has my soul grown

I’ve words to say what must be said
Now from my heart and from my head
For I’ll not go to where I’m led
But where the angels fear to tread

I’ve words to say what must be said
Now from my heart and from my head
For I’ll not go to where I’m led
But where the angels fear to tread

I go where angels fear to tread…

Version 2.0 03-05-2008

 

I want to rewrite this, but it has potential, for sure.

02/24/2014 Mini-Saga: Liminal

NSFW

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