Category Archives: Tales from Life

Intrepid

Intrepid

The black dog hunts me as I go
Catch me it will if I’m too slow
For if I drop my guard my foe
Will leap to kill with what I know

Disempowered I run, I flee
Monster must not catch up with me
I cannot face the facts and see
I am my own worst enemy

I’ve words to say what must be said
Now from my heart and from my head
For I’ll not go to where I’m led
But where the angels fear to tread

Black dog may hunt but truth remains
It’s I that cause myself my pains
The crazy thoughts that bring no gains
Are my own doing; homemade chains

I hold myself in darkest hell
Chased by the shadows fierce and fell
The spectre’s me, now I can tell
I have the means to make me well.

I’ve words to say what must be said
Now from my heart and from my head
For I’ll not go to where I’m led
But where the angels fear to tread

The tower falls, opens to sky
I spread my wings, know how to fly
Stars blaze above, my freedom’s nigh
With tears of joy I start to cry.

No more entrapped in fear, alone
The way to will myself I’ve shown
A path I should have always known
Through travel far has my soul grown

I’ve words to say what must be said
Now from my heart and from my head
For I’ll not go to where I’m led
But where the angels fear to tread

I’ve words to say what must be said
Now from my heart and from my head
For I’ll not go to where I’m led
But where the angels fear to tread

I go where angels fear to tread…

Version 2.0 03-05-2008

 

I want to rewrite this, but it has potential, for sure.

Ways To Be, and Not To Be

Regarding certain responses to issues of racism, sexism, cissexism, other prejudice-with-power problems, rape culture examples, and privilege:

I am tired of people saying that it’s “up to each individual to decide whether or not they’re offended”. That is essentially saying “It’s your problem if you are offended by this shitty thing I or someone else did that hurts you”, rather than “Wow, I or that person/group said/did an offensive/terrible thing, that sucks, how can I help?” Saying that it’s “up to each individual”, in this manner, is a non-answer, a “this isn’t my problem so I’m not dealing with it, la la la” answer.

No. Just no.

Wake up. It is EVERYONE’S problem when society and individuals treat certain people as less-than, less deserving of kindness, dignity, rights, and more. It is EVERYONE’S problem when someone gets denied their rights, raped, assaulted, murdered, attacked, harassed, and more. It is EVERYONE’S problem that there are people with no where to go and nothing to eat.

Let’s not be shitty to each other, shall we? The world is bettered when there’s less of this garbage going around.

Filk: Filk Halls of Harmony

Filk Halls of Harmony

Words: Based on those written by Al Frank
Music: “Farewell tae th’ Creeks” by Hamish Henderson

Written while at the Columbus Airport after OVFF 2012

The Toastmaster’s saddened. The con’s gone away.
There’s no Dead Dog whiskey to be had today.
The skies up above us are clouded and grey
And all of the filkers are leavin’.

And it’s trudge, trudge, out to the landing,
And set down your packs while the lift’s on its way.
And it’s fare ye well ye filk halls of harmony.
All the poor filkers are leaving.

This contract’s fulfilled but next year’s has been made.
The hotel has told us our time’s overstayed.
Goodbyes if you haven’t said them all today.
When our carpools arrive, we’ll be leavin’.

And it’s trudge, trudge, out to the breezeway,
And Tetris your packs in the most fitting way.
And it’s fare ye well ye filk halls of harmony.
All the poor filkers are leaving.

No plane’s movin’ eastward, it’s covered in storm.
So only the ones who’re bound elsewhere go home,
Don’t sweat when your flight is, can’t leave still it’s done,
It still rains on the day that we’re leavin’.

And it’s trudge, trudge, out to the airport,
And check all your packs, make sure they’re squared away.
And it’s fare ye well ye filk halls of harmony.
Most of the filkers are leaving.

Some filk for the singing, some filkers just play.
But we are all filkers and filking’s our way.
It’s a hard thing to leave, but employment means pay
And like all of your filk friends, you’re leavin’.

So it’s phones out, check on the landin’
The flight has come in, walk aboard, come away.
And it’s fare ye well ye filk halls of Harmony,
For all the tired filkers are leavin’.

On Privilege, and Learning How To Avoid Using It To Step On Others

(This post began on Twitter.)

This post is for anyone who has privilege and interacts with people who have a lower level of privilege than them.

A thought: when raised in privilege w/ things mostly being fair, it can be easy to get defensive, and even angry, when people for whom things aren’t fair get angry about it and treat you unfairly. “After all,” you may think, “it wasn’t *me* that oppressed them.” Whether or not this is true is irrelevant. The best thing I can say is this: Get through it, stop talking, and listen to what they are saying. You’ve had the luxury of not having to think of the things your level of  privilege entails. They haven’t. Feel what you feel, sure, but don’t make your defensiveness and anger their problem.  The unfairness they are experiencing may not be your personal fault, but that doesn’t mean their anger is allowed to be erased by that.

Something I learned in the last couple of days is that I’m still not very good at this, which is hard to admit. I’m trying to take it one conversation/opportunity to listen at a time.

 

Poem: I Wish You Knew Me Now

I wish you knew me now.
Back then, I was naive
easy to bully,
manipulate.

I wish you knew me now.
Back then, I was vulnerable,
unskilled at saving
myself.

I wish you knew me now.
Back then, I was angry,
imagining fictional
wrongs.

You can’t know me now.
Sometimes I think of you.
Then I smile, and
stop.

Truth in Four Sentences

To someone that I used to know.

I don’t think of you every day.
You aren’t in my life; that’s not new.
Years have passed since I last loved you.
I’ll still cry when you pass away.

 

[Poem] Cascadia

If you set foot here,
even briefly,
she knows your name.
If you give her a piece of your heart,
bury it in the woods between the firs,
it will not pine for you when you leave.
It will rest, growing in your absence.
When you return,
as occasionally or often as you might,
dig it up.
You will find it not rotted nor diminished.
Emerald green sprouts will be growing from it:
choose one or two.
Transplant them wherever they long to be.
If that place happens to lay far away,
perhaps another traveler will see it,
ask it of Home, then go plant
a piece of their own
next to yours.

Inspired by Bekah Kelso, SJ Tucker, Seanan McGuire, and all the others who have found themselves returning home with a bit of themselves left behind in the Emerald City.

[Poem] Emotion

Sometimes, I feel like crying.

There is no particular reason, except that it feels as if someone somewhere must be cried for, whether they be happy tears, sad tears, angry tears, or tears unknown.

Sometimes, I feel like laughing.

There is no particular reason, except that it feels as if someone somewhere must be laughed for, whether it is happy laughter, nervous laughter, derisive laughter, or laughter unknown.

Sometimes, I feel like singing.

There is no particular reason, except that it feels as if someone somewhere must be sung for, whether it is joyful songs, tragic songs, defiant songs, or songs unknown.

We are all connected, in ways dark, mysterious, and strange, in manners strong, deep, and enduring, in fashions electric and liquid and brightly burning, and in patterns known and unknown. Isolation does not become us. We, like many other, are pack animals.

Cry for your sisters,
Laugh for your brothers,
Sing for your lovers,
And for yourselves.

You are kin and kind with one another.

See.
Touch.
Know.
Remember.

(originally written 5 years ago today, posted in my Livejournal)

[Video] What Is Filk? An Answer, Among Others

http://sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com/video/7142684-eye-on-the-bay-those-other-conventions-pt-21/

Poem: For My Then-Boyfriend

Something I wrote for my then-boyfriend, on 08-15-2004, on an old locked LJ post.

Tell me
I can’t always see
I love you
Don’t hold back
Don’t hurt me
Just tell me
Something wrong
We’ll make it right
Don’t go away
Talk to me
Cry with me
With two it’s
Never quite as hard
To bear.
Don’t lie to me
Don’t say to me
“I don’t need you there”
Just tell me
What’s going on
Tell me
I love you.

(Later I realized many things, including that I put up with way too much bullshit from him.)