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Filk: Rose Marshall’s Ride
Rose Marshall’s Ride
ttto of “Black Davie’s Ride”, by Cynthia McQuillin
filk written by Shawna Jacques
Rose Marshall’s riding on down the ghost road
No moon of silver nor sun of gold
Wandering all through the Midnight so cold,
Who would you be with if you’d grown old?
Highway girl, highway girl, what do you dream?
Are you a travelling to see a queen?
Are you a hitcher, waiting on roadsides,
Or do you dream of a Sparrow Hill ride?
Your hair was tied back and lemon juice gold
Your dress was green, and your eyes were so bold.
He thought to have you, but the price would be your soul,
What kind of engine takes that kind of coal?
Highway girl, highway girl, what do you dream?
Are you a travelling to see a queen?
Are you a hitcher, waiting on roadsides,
Or do you dream of a Sparrow Hill ride?
When nights were warmer and your soul was young,
There were so many things you would not have done,
But though you dance til the last song is sung
He paid the crossroads, and now your time has come
Highway girl, highway girl, what do you dream?
Are you a travelling to see a queen?
Are you a hitcher, waiting on roadsides,
Or do you dream of a Sparrow Hill ride?
He stole a friend of yours, and he commands,
That you risk everything you have to make your stand
But he could never steal your power from your hand
And now there’s Bethany with her checkered flag,
Highway girl, highway girl, what do you dream?
Are you a travelling to see a queen?
Are you a hitcher, waiting on roadsides,
Or do you dream of a Sparrow Hill ride?
Highway girl, highway girl, what do you dream?
Are you a travelling to see the queen?
Are you a hitcher, waiting on roadsides,
Or do you dream of a Sparrow Hill ride?
Or do you dream of a Sparrow Hill ride?
Nation Called Panem
by Shawna Jacques
written about Hunger Games (by Suzanne Collins),
ttto “City of Marrow” by S.J. Tucker,
which is written for a book called Orphan’s Tales: In the Cities of Coin and Spice,
by Catherynne M. Valente
Lyrics updated 03-06-2016
If you are not familiar with this book, it is a beautiful pair of books of stories within stories within stories. The story the original song is about is about a city that has fallen to ruin due to a monster comprised mostly of teeth and hunger. The city, which used to mint coins from metal, now mints coins from the bones of dead children, and they make other children work the machines. A boy and a girl stick in that wretched workforce decide to take matters into their own hands, and the boy literally feeds his own arm into the machine so they have coins for their escape. Then I read The Hunger Games, and this practically wrote itself.
(oooo intro)
You’d never know that Panem was
a different place, up until the war
her city’s heart lost its way
so long, so long
gone is the country, the people, the land
now hunger is all that’s in store
above and below she has rotted away,
so long, so long
the districts had called
for Capitol fall,
but now no more than twelve you will find
broken shattered walls
no one there at all
gone to ashes and wasteland and lost time
bakers’ sons and coal miners’ daughters
must take their own lives to hand
I have been through the games of hunger,
and I have come out again.
(so) Fear for the lives they’re wasting
their Reaper may come for you
there’s only one victor, so try to win
they’re counting on you to pull through
or the Hunger Games may take them, too.
(ohhh, oh, I volunteer
ohhh, oh, I volunteer)
Truly, we’ve lost our great nation
that hunger has all but devoured
I look to my mother but I’m all alone
no one looks after the kids now
(ohhh, oh, I volunteer
ohhh, oh, I volunteer)
There can be no hope for our nation
while President Snow is in power
The odds aren’t in favor
Of me or of you
there’s only the Games now,
there’s only the blame now…
Fear for the lives they’re wasting
their Reaper may come for you
there’s only one victor, so try to win
they’re counting on you to pull through, oh…
Fear for the lives they’re wasting
their Reaper may come for you
there’s only one victor, so try to win
they’re counting on you to pull through
or the Hunger Games may take them, too.
bakers’ sons and coal miners’ daughters
must take their own lives to hand
fear now the Games of Hunger
you may not come out again.
I have been through the Games of Hunger
and I have come out again.
Fear for the lives they’re wasting
their Reaper may come for you
there’s only one victor, so try to win
they’re counting on you to pull through
the Hunger Games must someday end, too.
(mockingjay whistle tune)
Filk: There’s A Breach In The Warp Core
This began as a filk that popped into my head whilst showering this morning. I mentioned it to Marcos Duran, and this is what we came up with collaboratively.
There’s a breach in the warpcore,
oh Captain, my captain!
There’s a breach in the warpcore,
dear Captain, a breach!
So patch it, dear Geordi,
dear Geordi, dear Geordi!
So patch it, dear Geordi,
dear Geordi, patch it!
With what shall I patch it,
oh Captain, my captain?
With what shall I patch it,
dear Captain, patch it?
With a force field, dear Geordi,
dear Geordi, dear Geordi!
With a force field, dear Geordi,
dear Geordi, with force!
The force field’s not working,
oh Captain, my captain!
The force field’s not working,
dear Captain, it broke!
Dilithium matrix,
dear Geordi, dear Geordi!
dilithium matrix,
just realign it!
It’ll take me six hours,
oh Captain, my Captain!
It’ll take me six hours,
and I can’t rush it!
Then eject it, dear Geordi,
dear Geordi, dear Geordi!
Then eject it, dear Geordi,
eject the core now!
But the Borg ship is firing,
oh Captain, my captain!
But the Borg ship is firing,
dear Captain, the Borg!
Resistance is futile,
dear Geordi, dear Geordi!
Resistance is futile,
for we are the Borg!
Locutis is Captain,
dear ship crew, dear ship crew,
Locutis is Captain
and we are all doomed.
We are the Borg. Lower your shields and surrender your ships. We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. Your culture will adapt to service us. Resistance is futile.
Filk: Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer
Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer
Had a very shiny nose
And when the cultists saw it
They could really see it glow
All of the other reindeer
Were not very nice, it’s true
And so they let poor Rudolph
Be sacrificed to Cthulu.
On one foggy Solstice eve,
That Old One awoke
Rudolph, with his nose so red
A tasty snack, and now quite dead.
Ph’nglui mglw’nafh (fin gluey ma glow nafuh)
Cthulhu R’lyeh (Cthulu ri-ll-yuh)
wgah’nagl fhtagn (wog nachgul fuh-ta-chen)
Snack was eaten, back to bed!
(Pronunciation of Cthulu-related words found here.)
(This is Tonja’s fault.)
Poem: Monday Morning
Written on 01-30-2012
It’s Thursday afternoon, I am leaving work,
I busily make my lists
I’m writing down all I need to pack
Because soon I’ll be going to the
filk con!
It’s Friday evening, I’m at the hotel,
Convention’s about to start
I’m hugging those that I’ve been missing
And then I find my fav’rite seat in
the ballroom at the filk con!
It’s Saturday late afternoon, I’m at Interfilk
I’ve come armed with a budget
I’m not resisting the wenches’ charms
Easy to persuade while seated in
the chair in the ballroom at the filk con.
It’s Sunday after dinner, I’m at the Dead Dog
Convention’s nearly over
I’d pour my heart out but my heart’s here
Somewhere that I belong, singing in
the circle with the chair in the ballroom at the filk con.
It’s Monday morning and I’m at work,
I blearily blink and yawn
Searching for the wrong set of faces,
I’m at the office, yet I’m still in
with my friends in the circle with the chair in the ballroom at the filk con.
And I promise I’ll be back next year.
Filk: “One Ring to Rule Them All”
One Ring to Rule Them All
ttto of Glee ballad version of “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun”
(all because of a misheard lyric)
I stare out from the middle of the night
My wizard says, “I rule all of Middle Earth life”
Well, Sarumon, your time is done
My ring, to rule them all
One ring, to…
Saw my ring in the middle of the night
That wizard says, “Keep the palantir out of sight?”
Well, Gandalf dear, you’re an unfortunate one
My ring, will rule them all
One ring, to…
That’s all I really want…
That one ring, to rule them all
Hobbit inherits my ring of gold
Oh, and he’s hid it away from the rest of the world
except me, I am the burning Eye of Sauron
One Eye, to rule them all
One Eye, to…
That’s all I really want…
That one ring, to rule them all
Filk: Alternate Lyrics to “The Scotsman”
Well a scotsman clad in kilt left the bar one fine dark night,
and one could tell by how he walked that he’d drank a fair good mite.
He fumbled ’round until he could no longer stand so well
and he stumbled off into the grass to rest there for a spell.
Chorus: Ring ding didde diddle i-de-oh, ring di diddley i-oh
He stumbled off into the grass to rest there for a spell.
Later on, two young and pretty girls came strolling by
and the one said to the other with a sparkle in her eye,
“See yon sleeping Scotsman so strong and handsome built,
I wonder if it’s true what they don’t wear beneath their kilts!”
Chorus: Ring ding diddle diddle i-de-oh, ring di diddley i-oh
“I wonder if it’s true what they don’t wear beneath their kilts!”
They crept up on the sleeping Scotsman quiet as can be
and tried to lift his kilt about an inch (or two or three).
The Scotsman woke, bolted upright from his bed of leaves and dirt
and flung his back against a tree there growing from the turf.
Chorus: Ring ding diddle diddle i-de-oh, ring di diddley i-oh
and flung his back against a tree there growing from the turf.
He sputtered for a moment then he said “What have you done?
If you were me and I were you this would be just as wrong
If I, perchance, happed on a woman, drunk and sleeping fast
and lifted up that stranger’s skirt, I’d land in jail right fast.”
Chorus: Ring ding diddle diddle i-de-oh, ring di diddley i-oh
“and lifted up that stranger’s skirt, I’d land in jail fast.”
Those young and silly women hadn’t thought of what this meant
They stood there speechless as he said “It’s a matter of consent.”
And in small and startled voices they then both apologized,
for ignorance and double standards are seldom ever wise.
Chorus: Ring ding diddle diddle i-de-oh, ring di diddley i-oh
for ignorance and double standards are seldom ever wise.
Filk: “The Ballad of Baubo Baggins”, ttto “Ballad of Bilbo Baggins”, as sung by Leonard Nimoy
Original prompt, by a friend elsenet: “Trippy filk cross: The Ballad of Baubo Baggins. Someone needs to write it!”
Originally published in a private Facebook group, by me.
In the middle of Eleusis tending royal hearth fire
lived a bold elder goddess whom we all admire.
With a face up above
and a smile down below,
she told a bawdy joke and now Thundercunts know her as
Baubo! (Baubo!) Baubo Baggins,
she’s saving us from the Fall!
Baubo! (Baubo!) Baubo Baggins,
the bravest elder goddess of them all.
Now Baubo is a ancient goddess you know,
she’s down to earth and funny and befriends Doso.
She didn’t care to travel very far from home.
She cared for the family and had been left alone.
But one day Baubo was asked to go
to the well for some water to bring back and so
she found a woman crying, lost and cold
whose daughter had been stolen to the underworld.
Baubo! (Baubo!) Baubo Baggins,
she’s saving us from the Fall!
Baubo! (Baubo!) Baubo Baggins,
the bravest elder goddess of them all.
Well she brought home the Queen,
and brought Doso too!
She welcomed the new lady
but said “I’m watching you.”
She called out for help
kept the kid from flame
and Doso then revealed herself for who she was
Baubo! (Baubo!) Baubo Baggins,
the bravest elder goddess of them all.
Baubo! (Baubo!) Baubo Baggins,
the bravest elder goddess of them all.
Now Demeter (with help) lifted the blight so dire,
and returned to the Earth the warmth of Sun’s bright fire.
Her daughter is a queen of a realm deep and cold
And everything is changing, thus the story’s told…
Baubo! (Baubo!) Baubo Baggins,
she’s saving us from the Fall!
Baubo! (Baubo!) Baubo Baggins,
the bravest elder goddess of them all.
The Fox and Her Pen 